I LUV XANTAVIOUS

So. During my 5th period class, it conveniently being art, i excused myself to the restroom. Paused to check myself out in the mirror ( an extreme habit of mine. I look and study my appearance in every reflection i see. Whether it be car doors, trophy cases, windows the oven or anything glass; a topic for another time) I proceeded to one of the scrubby stalls. (idk if scrubby is a word, but Shakespeare invented over 1,000 words so i guess one of my own isn't intolerable) while i was in there i noticed the scratchings and markings on the inside of the door. Something I always unconsciously see but rarely read or pay attention to... things like hearts and flowers were engraved by several different sharpies or pens, and hatch marks of things illegible drawn probably by someone using the metal part of a pencil. you know the part that once held an eraser at the end but has been bitten and chewed out so now its just a deformed piece of metal at the end of a writing stick with no other purpose than that of making hatchings in the inside of a stall door. There were profanities. Names. Just dumb stuff that people do. I sat in awe at how anyone might have time to sit on the toilet, whip out a pen and cuss out some girl on the back of a door. Kinda dumb i think. Its sad that people have that much anger ya know. And that much time!? But who am I to talk. I am after all sitting here analyzing reasons why people could possibly want to draw on the back of an ancient stall door but hey. If they can be frivolous so can i....... You could also see portions over the wooden ancient door that had been sloppily painted over in this cream color in order to mask the vulgarities portrayed there. One that specifically caught my eye was right in the middle and it said in bright purple letters " I LUV XANTAVIOUS" Now what kind of name Xantavious is and why someone would be in love with anyone with a name such as that I know not....but the fact that she took the time to write it meant something. I have no idea who she is, or what she believes, but I do know one thing. She LUVs Xantavious. And I guess thats all i need to know. I guess thats all she wants anybody to know. For every person who sits there and reads that, thats what she will take away from that nameless person. That somewhere somehow some girl who has a purple sharpie and curly handwriting loves Xantavious. And it got me thinking.....Im a nameless girl to alot of people in the halls at school. Im just another face. They dont care where Im going or where ive been. They just know what they see. And I wonder, what am I drawing on the back of the stall door? I mean this metaphorically of course. What am I portraying to the world? If there is ONE thing in the world I would want people to know about me, what would it be? But then.... I guess ill rephrase that, not what i want people to know about ME, but what I want people to know period. Cause again, idk who loves Xantavious, I dont even know of said Xantavious, but i do know, whoever he is. Wherever he is. Somebody loves him enough to sit there and whip out a purple sharpie and write his name on the door. And I wonder, what do I love enough to whip out my sharpie and write on the back of the door? What is the one thing I want people to know? And not just to leave it on the back of the door but to have it written on my face wherever I go, For all to see. If you care to know who it is i LUV, what means the most to me, come down to the bathroom in downstairs A and see... I fully intend to make hatchings of my own tomorrow.

- mel