I have nothing productive to say really. An odd sensation for me cause im rarely left speechless. Just got home from Dear John. I dont really have an opinion on that either.... yet. Ive had a very interesting week. Deep thoughts being provoked while reading blue like jazz by Donald Miller. I believe my opinion of myself and my behavior is changing rappidly, and I never really understood what the true Christian perspective should be till now. We had communion today. It felt real for the first time. Im a hypocrite I know. If you wanna truly understand my opinion on the world and how i feel about myself and my relationship with God, read Blue Like Jazz. I have never been wholly changed by a book till now. Im slowly dying to myself. Its a good thing. Only in that can I truly live for Christ. Im a cynic. and a hypocrite. Again. Blue Like Jazz says it all. I was praying and repenting today and realized i havent repented in a frreakishly long time. It has held barriers in my heart against God. Embarrasing to state i know. But its true. Im ashamed of myself while professing to be a "christian" while living the life of a hypocrite. Im not walking like Jesus at all. Im a fake. Trying to sell a product that I dont use to its full myself. But I intend to start. Thank you Mr. Miller, for writing the words that I could not surmize myself. Im wholeheartedly convicted. With thoughts of Blue Like Jazz, and another on my mind. it has made for an altogether pleasant weekend of deep thinking.
Thanks to Shelby & Gracie, my two best friends, for being my best friends. I love you both deeply. And Annalisabeth Craig, whom I am free to be the cynic that I am and not be judged.
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